When the wife is away . . .

Startling what you can discover when your wife goes out of town for a couple days.

First of all, my routine seems to get totally off track. 

Last night, for example, as I ate my international dinner (a piece of leftover Polish sausage, wrapped in Indian naan bread, and a somewhat limp leftover Greek salad) I realized I had prepped dinner right through the local news and now wouldn’t know how many car accidents occurred in parts of the county I’ve never driven.

And after dinner, there was no point in watching The Wheel or Alex Trebec.  It typically takes two of us to win anything on those shows.  One of us stutters nonsense and says “you know” and then, of course, the other one DOES know at that moment and agrees they know the answer but just can’t verbalize it.  We’ve won MILLIONS towards our retirement this way.

But this morning ……….. I had my coffee, exchanged a few texts with my wife, made my lunch, and brushed my teeth.  I was impressed by how much time I had available before I needed to leave for work.  As I dropped my toothbrush in its holder (on the LEFT side so I can remember which is mine because I sometimes forget I’ve used blue toothbrushes for the last twelve years), I realized I had completely skipped eating breakfast.  I toyed with the idea of skipping it or grabbing an apple but I knew I’d never survive until noon.

So, I ate and brushed again.  That’s when another discovery was realized.  The annoyance of a squeezed-in-the-middle toothpaste tube had not been there today.  Contrary to what I was being told, it was NOT the cat who was doing it!  (sorry if I was mean to you Kitty).

My wife is coming home tomorrow.  Balance will be restored.

Originally Written 1/23/18 and edited 8/5/19 to protect the identity of the cat